I'm on YouTube!
Coz talking is so much easier than writing hahahaha
Here's my channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4Lo-bez2JUcXERcyxLSOlw
Here's my channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4Lo-bez2JUcXERcyxLSOlw
I'm on YouTube!
bummer bummer bummer bummer bummer
So I gave birth, yadda yadda yadda.
I'm not going to write about that tonight. Maybe some other time. I was planning to fully utilize my maternity leave towards vlogging. I actually uploaded a video on YouTube but it's been two days and it's only 65% uploaded, and guess what? I accidentally dropped my phone and the screen is now fully broken. The screen is basically separated from the phone, and that is the end of my phone's life. And the video is on my phone. Which I can't use. What's even more depressing is that I don't even have a job lined up yet. How the heck am I supposed to buy a new phone with a) My salary being held ransom until I return the company's laptop on April 28th, and b) No income in the near future??
I am so done.
I'm not that sad about the 7000+ photos on the phone. I'm not that sad about the contacts. I AM sad about not being able to afford a great quality phone.
I hate this.
It does help having a cute baby by my side, though. I mean, how can I be sad watching those chubby cheeks?
With love,
New mom.
I'm not going to write about that tonight. Maybe some other time. I was planning to fully utilize my maternity leave towards vlogging. I actually uploaded a video on YouTube but it's been two days and it's only 65% uploaded, and guess what? I accidentally dropped my phone and the screen is now fully broken. The screen is basically separated from the phone, and that is the end of my phone's life. And the video is on my phone. Which I can't use. What's even more depressing is that I don't even have a job lined up yet. How the heck am I supposed to buy a new phone with a) My salary being held ransom until I return the company's laptop on April 28th, and b) No income in the near future??
I am so done.
I'm not that sad about the 7000+ photos on the phone. I'm not that sad about the contacts. I AM sad about not being able to afford a great quality phone.
I hate this.
It does help having a cute baby by my side, though. I mean, how can I be sad watching those chubby cheeks?
With love,
New mom.
8 days till I'm due - part 2
Well actually today I'm 6 days away, but I was too tired to finish the other day's post.
I really wanted to write about Lugano by Hayaki, though. Do you know how hard it is to find real carbonara? Like, original egg yolk and cheese sauce, freshly made, instead of the canned sauce version with added milk etc?
So many cafes/restaurants that offer affordable food uses canned sauce, which isn't even carbonara! I mean, if you're not making carbonara, then stop calling it carbonara!
High-end restaurants do offer real freshly-made carbonara sauce though, so nothing to worry about there.
So imagine my surprise when I stepped into Lugano which a) is located in Kelantan, and b) offers affordable food, described carbonara as "egg yolks with a dash of cream" (something like that.) Please note that I can accept a dash of cream or milk in carbonara sauce just to make it extra creamy.
I ordered spaghetti carbonara straight away, when actually I was going for aglio e olio. And I DID NOT REGRET IT.
It was so creamy and yummy, I ended up slurping the sauce clean off the plate! I could definitely taste the half-cooked egg yolk. And guess what, it was only RM 12.50 plus free iced tea! What a bargain! Definitely going there again.
Another thing that surprised me was the hair salon upstairs (well it wasn't exactly on top of Lugano, but it was in the same building.) I was in desperate need for a hair wash and trim, since I knew both would never happen after I have the baby. The reason I wanted to wash my hair at a salon is because I SO needed the head massage. So I went to Golden Beauty Hair Salon, located directly on top of Bank Islam. It is also a training academy so a student did my hair. Downside: The air-conditioning was broken so I was sweating profusely, and my hair felt dry afterwards. Upside: It cost me RM 13 for a hair wash AND trim! Unbelievable! I even asked again just to make sure, and the girl said a hair wash costs RM 8. I mean... The length of time she took to massage my head was, I don't know, half an hour maybe? It was so good that I almost dozed off. I was in dire need of a head massage since I have been getting daily headaches lately, what with my sleep cycle going haywire as well as the scorching hot weather.
I have been noticing some dandruff lately as well, hence the need for a deep hair cleanse. My hair smelled fresh the whole day after the salon trip; I'm a happy woman!
I really wanted to write about Lugano by Hayaki, though. Do you know how hard it is to find real carbonara? Like, original egg yolk and cheese sauce, freshly made, instead of the canned sauce version with added milk etc?
So many cafes/restaurants that offer affordable food uses canned sauce, which isn't even carbonara! I mean, if you're not making carbonara, then stop calling it carbonara!
High-end restaurants do offer real freshly-made carbonara sauce though, so nothing to worry about there.
So imagine my surprise when I stepped into Lugano which a) is located in Kelantan, and b) offers affordable food, described carbonara as "egg yolks with a dash of cream" (something like that.) Please note that I can accept a dash of cream or milk in carbonara sauce just to make it extra creamy.
I ordered spaghetti carbonara straight away, when actually I was going for aglio e olio. And I DID NOT REGRET IT.
It was so creamy and yummy, I ended up slurping the sauce clean off the plate! I could definitely taste the half-cooked egg yolk. And guess what, it was only RM 12.50 plus free iced tea! What a bargain! Definitely going there again.
Another thing that surprised me was the hair salon upstairs (well it wasn't exactly on top of Lugano, but it was in the same building.) I was in desperate need for a hair wash and trim, since I knew both would never happen after I have the baby. The reason I wanted to wash my hair at a salon is because I SO needed the head massage. So I went to Golden Beauty Hair Salon, located directly on top of Bank Islam. It is also a training academy so a student did my hair. Downside: The air-conditioning was broken so I was sweating profusely, and my hair felt dry afterwards. Upside: It cost me RM 13 for a hair wash AND trim! Unbelievable! I even asked again just to make sure, and the girl said a hair wash costs RM 8. I mean... The length of time she took to massage my head was, I don't know, half an hour maybe? It was so good that I almost dozed off. I was in dire need of a head massage since I have been getting daily headaches lately, what with my sleep cycle going haywire as well as the scorching hot weather.
I have been noticing some dandruff lately as well, hence the need for a deep hair cleanse. My hair smelled fresh the whole day after the salon trip; I'm a happy woman!
8 days till I'm due - part 1
I will be officially 39 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I am in no rush to give birth because honestly, I want my husband to get enough rest before he has to go on the tiring and long drive from Melaka to Kelantan again. I am hoping to give birth on a weekend (as if I can choose the day. Lol.)
I went to Klinik Kesihatan Kubang Kerian for a check-up on Monday. I was a bit worried that they would deny my attendance (I have been denied before and was asked to go for a check-up at my usual clinic which is Klinik Kesihatan Ayer Keroh, even though I told them I will only go back to Melaka in two weeks time.) Luckily they accepted me this time. But Oh My God the whole thing took six hours. SIX DAMN HOURS! I arrived at the clinic at 9.15 a.m. and arrived home at 3.30 p.m. (my house is basically ten minutes away). I didn't even have lunch!
Some of the staff were also grumpy and a bit rude, and my own conclusion is: They are stressed out. I mean, there were so many patients but they only have one room with two nurse stations for the normal check-up routine for both prenatal and postnatal! In Ayer Keroh they have three rooms for prenatal check-ups, each with two nurse stations, which is probably why it would take me barely two hours for a check-up. They have separate rooms for postnatal check-ups, too.
Anyway. I was referred to a Medical Officer since they needed the MO to review my blood pressure chart (I was asked to do a blood pressure test every other day for one week because of my rapid weight gain.) The MO advised me to put olive oil or virgin coconut oil on my nipples to soften them so that they won't crack during my first few times of breastfeeding, and also to use the oils to do perineal massage to avoid tearing during delivery. The MO also advised me to do squats to induce labour, but I haven't done any squats at all because like I said, I am in no rush to give birth.
Oh and during the tummy check the nurse said that the baby has descended into the birth passage, which got me feeling a bit nervous.
So today I decided to have a bit of me-time before I give birth. I had decluttered a whole lot, and came out with two large bags of unused clothes plus a whole bag of trash. I dropped off the clothes at H&M, thinking I could do a bit of window shopping as well. Boy, was I wrong. As soon as I dropped off the clothes I was exhausted, and sat on the sofa outside H&M. There goes my window shopping. Then I went to The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and had the best drink ever (Ice Blended Pure Cookies and Cream in Vanilla). What was amazing was that I couldn't even taste the ice - it was so creamy and vanilla-ey.
Next I picked up my friend and went to another friend's house and had a bit of a chat. Then I went for lunch. I was feeling like having pasta, so I went to Lugano by Hayaki. It was my first time there, actually.
I went to Klinik Kesihatan Kubang Kerian for a check-up on Monday. I was a bit worried that they would deny my attendance (I have been denied before and was asked to go for a check-up at my usual clinic which is Klinik Kesihatan Ayer Keroh, even though I told them I will only go back to Melaka in two weeks time.) Luckily they accepted me this time. But Oh My God the whole thing took six hours. SIX DAMN HOURS! I arrived at the clinic at 9.15 a.m. and arrived home at 3.30 p.m. (my house is basically ten minutes away). I didn't even have lunch!
Some of the staff were also grumpy and a bit rude, and my own conclusion is: They are stressed out. I mean, there were so many patients but they only have one room with two nurse stations for the normal check-up routine for both prenatal and postnatal! In Ayer Keroh they have three rooms for prenatal check-ups, each with two nurse stations, which is probably why it would take me barely two hours for a check-up. They have separate rooms for postnatal check-ups, too.
Anyway. I was referred to a Medical Officer since they needed the MO to review my blood pressure chart (I was asked to do a blood pressure test every other day for one week because of my rapid weight gain.) The MO advised me to put olive oil or virgin coconut oil on my nipples to soften them so that they won't crack during my first few times of breastfeeding, and also to use the oils to do perineal massage to avoid tearing during delivery. The MO also advised me to do squats to induce labour, but I haven't done any squats at all because like I said, I am in no rush to give birth.
Oh and during the tummy check the nurse said that the baby has descended into the birth passage, which got me feeling a bit nervous.
So today I decided to have a bit of me-time before I give birth. I had decluttered a whole lot, and came out with two large bags of unused clothes plus a whole bag of trash. I dropped off the clothes at H&M, thinking I could do a bit of window shopping as well. Boy, was I wrong. As soon as I dropped off the clothes I was exhausted, and sat on the sofa outside H&M. There goes my window shopping. Then I went to The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and had the best drink ever (Ice Blended Pure Cookies and Cream in Vanilla). What was amazing was that I couldn't even taste the ice - it was so creamy and vanilla-ey.
Next I picked up my friend and went to another friend's house and had a bit of a chat. Then I went for lunch. I was feeling like having pasta, so I went to Lugano by Hayaki. It was my first time there, actually.
Large-sized Bras (or rather, Odd-sized Bras) in Malaysia
I say odd-sized, because I have a small body circumference (I am very thin) yet I have large breasts. Before I found out about Xixili, I used to buy large-sized bras and alter the body straps myself to fit my body circumference. I haven't yet found a store (besides Xixili) that carries large cups with a small circumference.
I felt compelled to write about this after my emotional breakdown in Mid Valley Megamall. You see, I am a 34H (since my second trimester. Before I am pregnant I was a 32F). The only brand that carries my size is Xixili. The letdown is that they cost around RM 160 (minimum) per bra, hence me owning only three bras. So it wasn't a surprise that I went to Xixili to look for nursing bras. I was in such a shock when they told me they have discontinued the production of nursing bras in cups larger than F since two years ago. Are large-chested women not supposed to breastfeed???
I realize now that it's not Xixili's fault for not carrying nursing bras in my size. It's every brand's fault! Also, not only large-sized bras are expensive, they're also so difficult to be found, and UGLY AS HELL! But us large-chested women have no choice. We would NOT rather not wear a bra, so we HAVE to buy those ugly-old-lady-kind-of-bras in ugly colours like beige and grey.
Anyway. Back to the topic. First I went to Xixili in Aeon Shah Alam, where the sales assistant told me to try other outlets since they don't carry many sizes there. So I went to Mid Valley Megamall, where the sales assistant dropped the bomb that my size has been discontinued. I was so shocked that I cried in the car on the way back home. I kept thinking about my future. How am I going to find bras? I have thought many times about breast reduction surgery, but my insurance plan does not cover it. I mean, it's not like I have back pain or anything because of my large breasts. I just have trouble finding bras (and feel like my breast size isn't proportionate to my slim body).
After that I realized that the sales assistant said they discontinued nursing bras, not normal bras. So I calmed down knowing that I'll only be facing trouble during my breastfeeding phase, and can still buy normal bras after that.
Next I thought about cutting out the straps of my bras and sewing on nursing clasps onto them (not very practical, but still possible). In the end, I web-surfed for HOURS and found one brand: Carriwell. I found out that the brand is available on Lazada, so I bought one bra just to try it out. This is how it looks like:
I bought it in black in the size L. They were very helpful to include a size chart which, I'll have you know, includes my size!!!
When it arrived I tried it on straight away. I'm gonna be honest here, this bra does not flatter your breasts. It makes them look flat and slightly soggy (only slightly). You can adjust the straps to lift your breasts, but it can only go so far. It is a seamless bra. No underwires. I was a bit sceptical about it having no underwires, since I know just how heavy my breasts are. I mean, I carry them everywhere and everyday, don't I? But let me tell you, it is the most comfortable bra I have ever tried on. And yes, it supports my breasts marvelously! They even included a free bra extender for people with a larger chest circumference. More importantly, they fit me perfectly!
I haven't yet found another brand that carries my size, but that's fine. I am SO gonna get some more Carriwell bras. But please God, let me have my old breasts back after I give birth. These girls are damn heavy.
Sofiya
I felt compelled to write about this after my emotional breakdown in Mid Valley Megamall. You see, I am a 34H (since my second trimester. Before I am pregnant I was a 32F). The only brand that carries my size is Xixili. The letdown is that they cost around RM 160 (minimum) per bra, hence me owning only three bras. So it wasn't a surprise that I went to Xixili to look for nursing bras. I was in such a shock when they told me they have discontinued the production of nursing bras in cups larger than F since two years ago. Are large-chested women not supposed to breastfeed???
I realize now that it's not Xixili's fault for not carrying nursing bras in my size. It's every brand's fault! Also, not only large-sized bras are expensive, they're also so difficult to be found, and UGLY AS HELL! But us large-chested women have no choice. We would NOT rather not wear a bra, so we HAVE to buy those ugly-old-lady-kind-of-bras in ugly colours like beige and grey.
Anyway. Back to the topic. First I went to Xixili in Aeon Shah Alam, where the sales assistant told me to try other outlets since they don't carry many sizes there. So I went to Mid Valley Megamall, where the sales assistant dropped the bomb that my size has been discontinued. I was so shocked that I cried in the car on the way back home. I kept thinking about my future. How am I going to find bras? I have thought many times about breast reduction surgery, but my insurance plan does not cover it. I mean, it's not like I have back pain or anything because of my large breasts. I just have trouble finding bras (and feel like my breast size isn't proportionate to my slim body).
After that I realized that the sales assistant said they discontinued nursing bras, not normal bras. So I calmed down knowing that I'll only be facing trouble during my breastfeeding phase, and can still buy normal bras after that.
Next I thought about cutting out the straps of my bras and sewing on nursing clasps onto them (not very practical, but still possible). In the end, I web-surfed for HOURS and found one brand: Carriwell. I found out that the brand is available on Lazada, so I bought one bra just to try it out. This is how it looks like:
I bought it in black in the size L. They were very helpful to include a size chart which, I'll have you know, includes my size!!!
I haven't yet found another brand that carries my size, but that's fine. I am SO gonna get some more Carriwell bras. But please God, let me have my old breasts back after I give birth. These girls are damn heavy.
Sofiya
Last pre-baby Honeymoon
Dear husband's birthday fell on a weekday, and even though I managed to cook nasi kerabu for the first time (yeay!) as a surprise for him, I felt that we needed to do something special together. Especially now that the baby is coming, I felt that we needed one last honeymoon - just the two of us.
I SO wanted to go to Pulau Lang Tengah, but we don't really have much time to go anywhere once we're at our kampung (the jetty to the island is nearby our kampung). Kampung time is family time, and with that limited time, we still need to divide our time fairly to spend with each of our families. So Pulau Lang Tengah is a no. (Plus it wouldn't be a birthday getaway since we're not going back to our kampung anytime soon.)
So I booked the Grand Blue Wave Hotel in Shah Alam based on these criteria:
1. Availability of a bathtub inside the room.
2. Affordability with breakfast included.
3. Reviews.
4. Availability of a swimming pool - my yoga instructor advised me to do swimming exercises besides yoga to help with labour.
A warm bath was definitely much needed what with me feeling more and more exhausted every day, and I also thought that it would be romantic to have a warm bath with dear husband (unfortunately I didn't have time to get a nice bottle of bath gel or flowers to put into the tub).
Anyway. We got McDonald's take away for dinner and checked into the hotel at around dinner time. The room was very spacious with a king-sized bed. Very clean too! (I'm a clean freak so cleanliness is something I definitely check wherever I go.)
Here are some photos of the room:
After having our dinner dear husband turned on the hot water to fill up the bath tub, and I poured the whole mini bottle of complementary shower gel into the bathtub (there wasn't a bath gel in the bathroom but the shower gel worked just fine). Bubbles filled up the whole bathtub and we jumped into the heavenly warm bath.
It was AHHMAZINGGGG. I melted right there and then. I thought I was the one in need of a warm bath, but can you believe it, dear husband was the one who dozed off in the bath tub! I guess he needed it more than I did. After the relaxing bath we just chilled out on the bed watching a soccer game. To be honest, the mattress was quite hard (but still comfy). I mean, we don't own a big house, but we have the most comfortable mattress in the world (it was definitely a good investment).
I had a really good sleep that night - it was so comfy to sleep in an air-conditioned room with lots of pillows and a heavenly duvet. For the first time in months I didn't sweat while sleeping! We didn't really use up all the bed space, lol. It was so huge that it could probably fit five people, and we're both so skinny (me, not so much anymore).
The next morning we went down for the breakfast buffet, and I ate lots, of course. The restaurant was comfortably-lit with a relaxed ambience.
Dear husband went for nasi lemak while I dived into all the other food choices: I had squid, turkey slices, baked potato, veggies, a chicken sausage, baked beans, something beef (I forgot what the dish was called), chicken, miso soup, congee with condiments, a muffin, and a cup of tea. There were lots of yummy-looking pastry but I felt I had to stop eating or I'll get another telling-off from my nurse. Hee hee.
After breakfast we went back to our room and chilled out, and I dozed off (dear husband said I even snored). Who knew having breakfast could be so exhausting! Then we went to the swimming pool even though it was raining outside and freezing cold. I really needed the exercise, especially since my yoga class was canceled that week. Dear husband lasted a whole five seconds in the pool because it was so cold, while I stayed for about 20 minutes. I wanted to stay longer but I felt bad seeing him looking all bored on the lounging chair (he didn't complain though).
After the quick swim we went back to our room and packed, and checked out of the hotel, and that was the end of our honeymoon. As reality resurfaced, so did my allergies. I get really really itchy when it's hot, I wish the baby would come out already so that all my skin allergies will disappear, but at the same time I don't want the baby to come early! Major dilemma.
On the way back we stopped for lunch and I had delicious laksam that I have been craving for for quite a while. People say I can't have laksam or laksa during confinement, so now is the time to have it!
Overall we had a wonderful time and I will definitely visit Grand Blue Wave hotel again.
The problem right now is that I'm having bath-tub withdrawal symptoms. Hmmph!
xoxo Sofiya
I SO wanted to go to Pulau Lang Tengah, but we don't really have much time to go anywhere once we're at our kampung (the jetty to the island is nearby our kampung). Kampung time is family time, and with that limited time, we still need to divide our time fairly to spend with each of our families. So Pulau Lang Tengah is a no. (Plus it wouldn't be a birthday getaway since we're not going back to our kampung anytime soon.)
So I booked the Grand Blue Wave Hotel in Shah Alam based on these criteria:
1. Availability of a bathtub inside the room.
2. Affordability with breakfast included.
3. Reviews.
4. Availability of a swimming pool - my yoga instructor advised me to do swimming exercises besides yoga to help with labour.
A warm bath was definitely much needed what with me feeling more and more exhausted every day, and I also thought that it would be romantic to have a warm bath with dear husband (unfortunately I didn't have time to get a nice bottle of bath gel or flowers to put into the tub).
Anyway. We got McDonald's take away for dinner and checked into the hotel at around dinner time. The room was very spacious with a king-sized bed. Very clean too! (I'm a clean freak so cleanliness is something I definitely check wherever I go.)
Here are some photos of the room:
After having our dinner dear husband turned on the hot water to fill up the bath tub, and I poured the whole mini bottle of complementary shower gel into the bathtub (there wasn't a bath gel in the bathroom but the shower gel worked just fine). Bubbles filled up the whole bathtub and we jumped into the heavenly warm bath.
It was AHHMAZINGGGG. I melted right there and then. I thought I was the one in need of a warm bath, but can you believe it, dear husband was the one who dozed off in the bath tub! I guess he needed it more than I did. After the relaxing bath we just chilled out on the bed watching a soccer game. To be honest, the mattress was quite hard (but still comfy). I mean, we don't own a big house, but we have the most comfortable mattress in the world (it was definitely a good investment).
I had a really good sleep that night - it was so comfy to sleep in an air-conditioned room with lots of pillows and a heavenly duvet. For the first time in months I didn't sweat while sleeping! We didn't really use up all the bed space, lol. It was so huge that it could probably fit five people, and we're both so skinny (me, not so much anymore).
The next morning we went down for the breakfast buffet, and I ate lots, of course. The restaurant was comfortably-lit with a relaxed ambience.
Dear husband went for nasi lemak while I dived into all the other food choices: I had squid, turkey slices, baked potato, veggies, a chicken sausage, baked beans, something beef (I forgot what the dish was called), chicken, miso soup, congee with condiments, a muffin, and a cup of tea. There were lots of yummy-looking pastry but I felt I had to stop eating or I'll get another telling-off from my nurse. Hee hee.
After breakfast we went back to our room and chilled out, and I dozed off (dear husband said I even snored). Who knew having breakfast could be so exhausting! Then we went to the swimming pool even though it was raining outside and freezing cold. I really needed the exercise, especially since my yoga class was canceled that week. Dear husband lasted a whole five seconds in the pool because it was so cold, while I stayed for about 20 minutes. I wanted to stay longer but I felt bad seeing him looking all bored on the lounging chair (he didn't complain though).
After the quick swim we went back to our room and packed, and checked out of the hotel, and that was the end of our honeymoon. As reality resurfaced, so did my allergies. I get really really itchy when it's hot, I wish the baby would come out already so that all my skin allergies will disappear, but at the same time I don't want the baby to come early! Major dilemma.
On the way back we stopped for lunch and I had delicious laksam that I have been craving for for quite a while. People say I can't have laksam or laksa during confinement, so now is the time to have it!
Overall we had a wonderful time and I will definitely visit Grand Blue Wave hotel again.
The problem right now is that I'm having bath-tub withdrawal symptoms. Hmmph!
xoxo Sofiya
Believe
Seven or eight years ago a friend of mine told me a story about her lecturer. Ever since her lecturer got married, she had never pumped her own gas. Her husband always did it for her. One day, her car ran out of gas and she was stuck on the side of the road. She was so scared to call her husband to admit that she didn't fill up the gas before going to wherever she was planning to go to. In the end she decided to call her husband and fess up. To her surprise, her husband apologized profusely for forgetting to fill up her car with gas.
When I heard that story I accepted that I will never find a man that cares for a woman to that extent, nor have I known one before. In fact, I felt that it was absurd to rely on a man so much. My father and brothers are caring and loving, but have always taught me to be an independent person. If I am facing troubles - big or small - I will have to man up and face it on my own, or else find friend(s) to help me. But never in a way that I would rely on that friend completely. I didn't believe that such a man (like the lecturer's husband) existed.
And so I went through life as usual, fighting my own battles. Never did I rely on a boyfriend to do anything for me, or save me in any situation, nor did I expect him to. I was just never taught that women should rely on men. My stepmother worked her ass off to get whatever she wanted. My grandmother hates women who do not work. My aunt is a successful retired headmistress. It was just in my blood that whatever a woman wants, a woman fights for on her own two damn feet.
After I met my husband (boyfriend, at that time) there has been numerous occasions that proved otherwise. But I would like to talk about what happened today.
Today, I had lunch at a Subway restaurant which was located in a Mydin supermarket. As soon as I exited Subway, holding my free white chip macadamia cookie, I noticed a guy staring at me, but I ignored him. Note that I am not usually suspicious of people, nor am I easily scared when there is nothing to be scared about. I noticed him walking behind me, but thought hey, it's quite normal for two people to walk in the same direction outside a supermarket. I ignored him and went into a shop across the road to buy dates (people told me that eating dates everyday will ease labour). I was a bit surprised when I exited the shop to see him standing near the entrance, staring at me. I walked back across the road to the supermarket's parking lot and noticed him still following me, so I changed direction and walked into the supermarket where there was a security guard and more people. The guy stopped at the supermarket's entrance and didn't enter. I waited for a few minutes while texting my husband just in case something happens to me, and then my phone died, as usual (my stupid battery lasts approximately three hours), and I decided to tell the security guard only if the guy was still there. Fortunately, he was gone. I quickly walked to my car and started driving, where I drove right past the guy. He was loitering in a different part of the parking lot. Luckily I was safe inside my car with the doors locked and can easily speed off.
A few minutes after I arrived home, my husband arrived as well. He said he went looking for me at the supermarket and couldn't find me, so he came home to find me. I asked "Why?" and he said, in a tone that suggested it's an obvious answer, "Because I love you! I was worried." His voice was shaking, too.
Even after all this time, I am still partly confused as to why my husband is worried about me all the time and hurries to find me whenever I am in trouble. I still ask "why". I still feel that he doesn't have to.
But now I see. Now I know. I have found my special person. He's my person.
And looking at the way he treats his mother, I am not worried that he's going to stop worrying about me or stop loving me anytime soon.
I love you.
xoxo Sofiya
When I heard that story I accepted that I will never find a man that cares for a woman to that extent, nor have I known one before. In fact, I felt that it was absurd to rely on a man so much. My father and brothers are caring and loving, but have always taught me to be an independent person. If I am facing troubles - big or small - I will have to man up and face it on my own, or else find friend(s) to help me. But never in a way that I would rely on that friend completely. I didn't believe that such a man (like the lecturer's husband) existed.
And so I went through life as usual, fighting my own battles. Never did I rely on a boyfriend to do anything for me, or save me in any situation, nor did I expect him to. I was just never taught that women should rely on men. My stepmother worked her ass off to get whatever she wanted. My grandmother hates women who do not work. My aunt is a successful retired headmistress. It was just in my blood that whatever a woman wants, a woman fights for on her own two damn feet.
After I met my husband (boyfriend, at that time) there has been numerous occasions that proved otherwise. But I would like to talk about what happened today.
Today, I had lunch at a Subway restaurant which was located in a Mydin supermarket. As soon as I exited Subway, holding my free white chip macadamia cookie, I noticed a guy staring at me, but I ignored him. Note that I am not usually suspicious of people, nor am I easily scared when there is nothing to be scared about. I noticed him walking behind me, but thought hey, it's quite normal for two people to walk in the same direction outside a supermarket. I ignored him and went into a shop across the road to buy dates (people told me that eating dates everyday will ease labour). I was a bit surprised when I exited the shop to see him standing near the entrance, staring at me. I walked back across the road to the supermarket's parking lot and noticed him still following me, so I changed direction and walked into the supermarket where there was a security guard and more people. The guy stopped at the supermarket's entrance and didn't enter. I waited for a few minutes while texting my husband just in case something happens to me, and then my phone died, as usual (my stupid battery lasts approximately three hours), and I decided to tell the security guard only if the guy was still there. Fortunately, he was gone. I quickly walked to my car and started driving, where I drove right past the guy. He was loitering in a different part of the parking lot. Luckily I was safe inside my car with the doors locked and can easily speed off.
A few minutes after I arrived home, my husband arrived as well. He said he went looking for me at the supermarket and couldn't find me, so he came home to find me. I asked "Why?" and he said, in a tone that suggested it's an obvious answer, "Because I love you! I was worried." His voice was shaking, too.
Even after all this time, I am still partly confused as to why my husband is worried about me all the time and hurries to find me whenever I am in trouble. I still ask "why". I still feel that he doesn't have to.
But now I see. Now I know. I have found my special person. He's my person.
And looking at the way he treats his mother, I am not worried that he's going to stop worrying about me or stop loving me anytime soon.
I love you.
xoxo Sofiya
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)