I had THE BEST SLEEP last night. It has been quite a hot few weeks that I have been sweating constantly, but last night wasn't so hot. In fact, it was a little cold! It was my first time in months to unfold my duvet and actually use it. I have forgotten how comfy it is to sleep under a duvet, and oh yeah I slept like a baby. In fact when I woke up quite early, I didn't even feel like going back to sleep like I usually do. I felt refreshed, even.

A few hours passed and of course I am back into the pit of sadness. I don't know how I am supposed to cope with not seeing my husband for another two and a half months. The only way to get some time off is to quit my job, which is absolutely not an option.

I feel that it is not fair that I have only been married for a little over two months, and then we have to be apart for three whole months. I feel it unfair that my boss can't see reason. I'm just.... having a hard time accepting reality.

This is a test on our marriage, I know. But he is the only thing I have ever wanted. The only thing I have ever prayed so hard for. The only thing I ever wished for with all my heart. And now we can't even be together.

I don't want to be constantly depressed - falling deeper and deeper each day into this dark hole. It is not healthy. I want to do things to cheer myself up. I really, really want to. Last night I watched a film online, but the internet connection was terrible that I couldn't even get past the first ten minutes. And after that the speaker suddenly stopped working. So that failed.

I am going to Cameron Highlands this Sunday with my brother and his girlfriend, and I am hoping that spending time outside (where it isn't hot) will do me good. I hope it will cheer me up.

I'm trying.

*Listening to Coeur de Pirate's playlist.

xoxo Sofiya