I have been focusing on all the bad things that are happening to me; I realize that now. It is no surprise that I have been more outspoken and grumpy for the past few months. A little bit rude, even. I have started to complain more, and am a bit less patient.
You see, I was always the most patient one. At the same time, I was always the one who was constantly being verbally abused and put down, because I was that patient person. I didn't like talking back to older people because I felt that it is just plain rude, and most of the time it is better to just let it go. So I would simply smile and walk away whenever I was being put down or verbally abused.
There was a moment when I realized I don't want to be that person in front of my child. I don't want my child to see that it is okay to be put down. I don't want my child to feel that it is okay to be bullied. I don't want to be that kind of example to my child. (It did help that I read the novel "It Ends With Us" by Colleen Hover. It helped LOADS.)
So I started to be brave. I started to speak up. Even when it wasn't about me - when I see someone taking advantage of another person, I would straight up say "That is wrong." I stopped caring whether or not that person is older than I am. When a person does not listen if I say things in a low voice, then I will repeat it in a louder tone. I am not scared anymore. Respect just disappears when it comes to handling bullies. I really have no respect toward bullies at all.
However, I feel that all this confidence has turned me into a bitter person. All the bad things never really got to me in the past - I could simply walk away and forget about them. Now that I am brave enough to face them, they feel real, and when they're real, they're noticeable. They're felt. And they get to me. In turn I have become bitter. I complain and I frown and I bitch about things. The worst part is, I no longer notice the good things that are happening around me.
Today, I was waiting for the RapidKL bus to go to work, as usual. I felt a bit tired queuing beside the bus with everyone else, so I left the queue and sat down on a bench, where I couldn't see whether or not the bus was ready to leave. After a few minutes the bus driver came to where I was sitting and called me, saying the bus is ready to go. I felt so touched because really, he didn't have to do that. He didn't have to go that extra mile at the price of RM 0.80 per trip. He didn't have to remember which bus I usually take. He didn't have to be so considerate.
But he did. And it made me remember all the trips I have had on RapidKL buses. Once, it was raining so heavily that a lot of people were stuck at the bus stand, unable to cross the road. The driver stopped at the bus stand and shouted "Come in, I'll take you across. You don't have to pay" (He was going that way anyway). Another time, it was raining really heavily too, so the driver stopped just in front of my apartment gate even though there was no bus stop there, so that the residents who were riding the bus didn't have to walk so far in the rain to reach the apartment. Rain is a BIG issue for public transport users.
On a side note, people who park their cars, or wait in their cars at the bus stop should really be considerate and wait at the FREAKING WAITING LANE which is just about 100 metres away, or simply park at the PARKING LOT. It is so annoying to have to run in the rain to get to the bus because FREAKING CARS ARE PARKED AT THE BUS STOP.
And may I tell you how much I enjoy it when the bus driver honks all he wants until the cars move away from the bus stop? I LOVE IT.
Anyway. I gotta say, RapidKL buses have never brought me bad experiences (maybe one, but that is forgiven now).
Kindness really is important. Most of the time kindness is shown by strangers who don't even have to be kind. So thank you, lovely people. I hope one day I'll return the favor.
You see, I was always the most patient one. At the same time, I was always the one who was constantly being verbally abused and put down, because I was that patient person. I didn't like talking back to older people because I felt that it is just plain rude, and most of the time it is better to just let it go. So I would simply smile and walk away whenever I was being put down or verbally abused.
There was a moment when I realized I don't want to be that person in front of my child. I don't want my child to see that it is okay to be put down. I don't want my child to feel that it is okay to be bullied. I don't want to be that kind of example to my child. (It did help that I read the novel "It Ends With Us" by Colleen Hover. It helped LOADS.)
So I started to be brave. I started to speak up. Even when it wasn't about me - when I see someone taking advantage of another person, I would straight up say "That is wrong." I stopped caring whether or not that person is older than I am. When a person does not listen if I say things in a low voice, then I will repeat it in a louder tone. I am not scared anymore. Respect just disappears when it comes to handling bullies. I really have no respect toward bullies at all.
However, I feel that all this confidence has turned me into a bitter person. All the bad things never really got to me in the past - I could simply walk away and forget about them. Now that I am brave enough to face them, they feel real, and when they're real, they're noticeable. They're felt. And they get to me. In turn I have become bitter. I complain and I frown and I bitch about things. The worst part is, I no longer notice the good things that are happening around me.
Today, I was waiting for the RapidKL bus to go to work, as usual. I felt a bit tired queuing beside the bus with everyone else, so I left the queue and sat down on a bench, where I couldn't see whether or not the bus was ready to leave. After a few minutes the bus driver came to where I was sitting and called me, saying the bus is ready to go. I felt so touched because really, he didn't have to do that. He didn't have to go that extra mile at the price of RM 0.80 per trip. He didn't have to remember which bus I usually take. He didn't have to be so considerate.
But he did. And it made me remember all the trips I have had on RapidKL buses. Once, it was raining so heavily that a lot of people were stuck at the bus stand, unable to cross the road. The driver stopped at the bus stand and shouted "Come in, I'll take you across. You don't have to pay" (He was going that way anyway). Another time, it was raining really heavily too, so the driver stopped just in front of my apartment gate even though there was no bus stop there, so that the residents who were riding the bus didn't have to walk so far in the rain to reach the apartment. Rain is a BIG issue for public transport users.
On a side note, people who park their cars, or wait in their cars at the bus stop should really be considerate and wait at the FREAKING WAITING LANE which is just about 100 metres away, or simply park at the PARKING LOT. It is so annoying to have to run in the rain to get to the bus because FREAKING CARS ARE PARKED AT THE BUS STOP.
And may I tell you how much I enjoy it when the bus driver honks all he wants until the cars move away from the bus stop? I LOVE IT.
Anyway. I gotta say, RapidKL buses have never brought me bad experiences (maybe one, but that is forgiven now).
Kindness really is important. Most of the time kindness is shown by strangers who don't even have to be kind. So thank you, lovely people. I hope one day I'll return the favor.
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